Life is Just a Dream
by Livinginthedream
Summary: Analeigh is a small town girl who moves to California to escape the emotional tear from her mother's death. Relying on the help of her mysterious crush Grahm who only exists in her dreams.
1. Its only the Beginning

**Hey Guys! So I am new to this whole fan fic thing and i am putting this up to get some feedback and to see if you guys like My stuff :) I have been working on this story for about a year now and I finally decided to put it up and I am going to be doing this chapter by chapter, well except for this first time where I will be putting up the first two chapters. So I hope you guys enjoy and This is dedicated to Rys, Lu, Amy, Daria, Julia, Julie, and Kat. I love you guys! So please read and Comment so I know what you guys think!! Thanks!!!**

**Sincerely, **

**Allyson :)  
**

_"Come on.... Come on....Got it!" _

I shook my head at my father's conversing with my car but all the same he was at least fixing it. Or from my point of view trying to fix it. My father and I recently lost my mother, who died of cancer and he thought that running away from her death was the best way to solve his anguish. So we moved to California. He got a job working for the city mayor and was gone most of the time, and was usually home on the weekends. Now California is not my ideal place, but I think that I can get used to all of the air pollution, but putting our move aside my father is a great man. I remember the nights I cried for hours and my hostile isolation, I couldn't look him in the eye when he talked to me and it became hard to really connect with my father when my mother left. All the hurt and the pain drove us apart rather than bring us together like, like deaths normally should. It was a windy night in January and we were both standing out on the driveway trying to put life back into this car that should have died years ago, along with all of the other "classics" if my car can even be that. So of course I stood on the side watching him, not knowing what to do even if I offered to help. The wind blew my hair around my face. Swirling the dark brows tendrils across my cheeks and around my neck, I moved them behind my ears as the leaves danced on the street, the dim streetlights like illumination for the serene performance.

"Alright then, Analeigh, go try and start the motor for me" he said with a grunt as he tightened the last bolt.

I was broken from my dream and I shook my head looking at him for a moment before nodding and walking to the car.

"_Sure dad" _I said with a disparaging sigh

So walking over and sitting in the driver's seat, I doubtfully gave the key a twist and to my dismay the car came back to life.

"Yes! Finally, this car has been giving me trouble and I finally figured it out" He clapped his hand and gave that touchdown type of arm pump, the kind that usually goes with a 'Yes!' Or a 'Woo_!' _Yes, I let him enjoy this moment of success, but on the inside I hoped that the car just burst into flames right there.

"Well kiddo, it's time for bed now that the mystery of the broken car is solved." He smiled brightly showing his perfect teeth.

He started to clean up his tool box and turn off his industrial style garage light and taking off his gloves stained with motor oil and sprinkled with metals of every kind. I smiled in the sense that he was happy, but I frowned knowing it was the first day of school coming back from winter break. I had been dreading it this whole time, hoping my first week wasn't as bad as the last.

It was the week before we left for Winter break, the halls filled with chatter or what they hoped they would get for Christmas, smiles along with wrapped presents and colorful bags, covered with bows and cards. Seeing as though I was the new girl I didn't really tend to socialize with those around me, I was just trying to get situated with the new surroundings. I hated feeling alone, especially in a place where you had to have at least one friend to stay alive. It was surreal, walking alone in the halls, with the noise all around you, yet no one seeming to know you were there. Like walking through a battlefield, bullets and fire cornering you and yet you don't have a scratch on you. Life was like a battlefield, everyone trying to survive, living with fear of dying and the knowledge that not all of us will make it.

It felt like the months after my mom died. I lost all contact with the outside world. I stayed within myself, my thoughts barren, the blackness of death washing over me. I lost just about every friend I had and I cried myself to sleep every night. I hurt my dad those months, blamed him for not letting me be alone, even though I knew he was trying to help. I came close to cutting myself and never told a soul, for the fear of being put on suicide watch or being put in the hospital. Life wasn't worth living. So my dad though the move would solve things.

So being Here in California, where I knew absolutely no one, made me feel even more alone. I hated feeling this way. I wanted to be the carefree person I knew I always was, the one who pushed away the sadness and the darkness. I found joy in the sun but now it was a burden. I felt like this vampire, burning on the inside when things became bright, the churning in my stomach making me sick, I wanted to be alive and my mom's death made me the living dead…

"Alright dad, I will see you in the morning." I leaned my head against the seat and closed my eyes, the door still open, letting the winter air consume the car. Then with a sigh I got out and locked the doors.

I sulked off to my room, knowing that when I went off to college in about 6 months that I would have to take the wretched thing with me and the thought alone gave me nightmares. I hoped that tonight I wouldn't get nightmares... but that I would dream of Grahm again. It was a reoccurring offense that Grahm would be in my dreams, but the thing was that I didn't even know this guy or have I had the pleasure of meeting him. It was this guy that one night came in my dreams and has starred in them ever since. He came into my life after My Mom died. Well At first it was the idea of him that at first creeped into my thoughts. Then later came the vision of him, his caring heart and brilliant smile. It was hard to look away, but I knew I was crazy to think a guy in my dreams would help me out of this hole I put myself in. All the built up anger and agony or losing my best friend, I hoped that he would help me get through this and I would finally be whole again.

But until then I let myself think that I was unsaveable. Before I fell asleep I prayed that I would see him again, and finally talk to him. I laid in bed, sleep slowly taking me over, my vision becoming dreamy and unclear as I closed my eyes, sinking back into the pillow and fell asleep.

**xxx**


	2. Ruined Chances

So I wanted to thank you guys for reading and dont forget to Comment!! Oh and a new chapter will be put up every Saturday, and that may vary depending on the week and I might also publish two chapters a week :)

**XXX**

_**"Analeigh!! Over here!!"**_

_**I looked over and saw Kaitlyn there frantically waving at me from the other side of the cafeteria and I rolled my eyes playfully at her desperate motions of getting my attention. I crossed the busy lunchroom, crowded with tables and chairs, filled with the upperclassmen and the jocks; we only sat in here because Kaitlyn loved to stare at all the 'gorgeous men.'**_

_**Kaitlyn was pretty, she has long flowing blonde hair,, her ice blue eyes always wild with excitement and happiness, she had a slight figure, and was athletic though she never participated in any school related sports. She was the type that could light up a room and start conversation on a whim. She was a very charming girl and never had a single enemy. She started our conversation even before I got there. I sat down a listened as she eagerly spoke, rushing to the point of the talk.**_

_**"Ok, so I heard from Cathy who told Jason who told Elizabeth who told me that they saw Grahm walking all alone in the park the other day for the third Saturday in a row. Analeigh I mean really its like fate or something!"**_

_**The thing about Kaitlyn is that she is very persistent, whether the affair occurs with herself or it concerns me. Ever since I told her I had this crush on the mysterious guy in school she went into stalker, journalist, combat mode. She would tell me every detail about who saw him where and why I need to make my move. Every time she exploded with facts about Him and his life I rolled my eyes and told her that when the time came or when I fought the courage I would talk to him and then we would see how things went.**_

_**I at this point was obviously not paying any attention to what she was saying and focusing on the fact that Grahm was in my next period and I was trying to convince myself to talk to him. The thought alone gave me goose bumps and made my palms sweat I picked at my lunch I brought from home and tried to seem nonchalant. **_

_**"Oh, yeah that's great Kaitlyn..." I kept my eyes on my food and broke my bread apart into tiny pieces.**_

_**"Analeigh!!!! Seriously you should go and talk to him but make it accidental of course" with a cheery disposition. **_

_**She was referring to the fact that I like to take pictures in Burgsberry Park on Saturdays, when the weather is perfect of course and it happens that Grahm like to take walks in the park on Saturdays as well. He is always alone and is usually approached by girls from school. Not that I was paying any attention to that fact,, but its proven.**_

"_**Kaitlyn... I just can't ok? It's not like I have some degree in talking to men." I threw down the piece of apple I had in my hand feeling frustrated with myself, not being able to distract myself from the looming thought of having Grahm in class.**_

"_**Oh please Analeigh, you don't even need to say anything, guys just automatically talk to you."**_

_**I resented the fact that she brought that up again, because with being the new girl, you were also the "New meat". That was the worst month of my life, dodging every date offer after another and trying to hide when I walked in the halls and out in public. I'm not like the other girls who fall at the feet of men of think they are too good for guys. I was abnormally shy and any guy that came into proximity would make my heart race. One guy In my Bio class asked for a pencil and I stood there with my mouth open, looking like an idiot. **_

_**I felt the blush come across my face, thinking about the memory, and shook my head trying to dispel it from my mind. I took My half eaten lunch and threw it away, coming back to the table.**_

"_**Analeigh, you should make your move before school gets out, I mean who knows what will happen." She gave me the "look" The look that said 'Analeigh you're an idiot if you don't do this.' And I hated the look, it made me feel invisible because Kaitlyn did see right through me. She knew everything that happened with my mom and she knew how I felt. So in a sense the "look" Was also a look of 'Hey maybe this would be good for you. To find someone that can possibly make you feel like yourself.' **_

_**Then the bell rang, thank god! I quickly got my things together and dashed out of the lunch room before Kaitlyn could yell at me more about my lack of social skills. My class was across campus and I decided to listen to my music. I never usually paid any attention to where I was going but I was more like conditioned to walk the same path back and forth from classes every day. I tried to tune out the useless noise of jocks yelling about their latest victory over the cross town rivals and the freshmen girls giggling when that cute senior walked past them, it all seemed so childish... But then my situation seemed the same way! I couldn't talk to some guy that has been in my class all semester? If that wasn't stupid then I don't know what else was.**_

_**"Miss. Ariens please take your seat."**_

_**I wasn't aware that I had arrived in my class and was standing next to the door, probably zoning out during my thought monologue.**_

_**"Sorry Mr. Barnes" I took my headphones from my ears and instantly felt my ears get hot as my eyes fell to the floor.**_

_**"That's quite alright. Now class its time for a new seating arrangement." He says cheerfully as the class groans... "Now now class, we have 5 months left and this will be the last time I promise. Now take your things and go to the back of the class."**_

_**Now here is that whole herded feeling again as I joined the rest of the class and stood in the back of the classroom. I began to think about what Kaitlyn said earlier about accidentally bumping into Grahm and talking to him. I was having one of those brave moments where I would actually consider doing it, and then I would talk myself out of doing it ten minutes later.**_

_**"Ms. Ariens, next to Mr. Lenmark please." She said nonchalantly and moved onto the next list of names.**_

_**Oh Crap! I hadn't even realized that the seating change would create the possibility of me sitting in close proximity to him!**_

_**"Oh, Alright Mr. Barnes" I said quietly.**_

_**By this time my face is flushed my pulse is racing and I am about ready to have an aneurism. I hadn't put this little factor into the equation, what was I going to do? So I sat down and turned my face away from him, as to not embarrass myself with saying something stupid. Then I heard...? Him shift in his chair? I turned to look and there he was looking right at me.**_

_**"Your Analeigh right?" She said with a charming Smile.**_

_**All I could do was nod. Yeah If I didn't feel like an idiot already.**_

_**" I've heard a lot about you, but have never had the chance to meet you" His eyes lighting up. Turning to a light emerald green.**_

_**Why aren't I saying anything?! By this time he looked at me and started to have a confused look on his face.**_

_**"Did you lose your voice? I heard that it was going around." His eyes, falling slightly as his lips turned down microscopically.**_

_**I nodded. Finding it hard to look away from his eyes, they were absolutely hypnotic, and think I almost started to drool.**_

_**"Oh alright." He said frowning.**_

_**He looked away and he looked perplexed, like he had seen me talking earlier. I was mortified and I knew that I had probably ruined it for myself and that he would think I was a freak. I felt like screaming. The bell rang and I almost tripped getting out of my chair. I ran out the door and down the hall, hiding in the bathroom, staring into the mirror as the bright flush on my cheeks started to disappear. I waited in the stall until I knew he would probably be out to the parking lot by now. I Closed my eyes, cursing under my breath, letting the chance slip away.**_

_**XXX  
**_


	3. Into the Real World

**Sorry I haven't written for awhile! I have had all of these chapters written down but never posted. Hope you like the next few!**

Suddenly I was awake and sitting up in my bed, like I had the worst nightmare ever. I put my hand over my eyes and slumped back into bed, not wanting to get up yet. Seeing as though my slumping did nothing I looked at the clock and decided that four in the morning wasn't too early to get up for school.

To keep myself busy I went downstairs to tidy up the already spotless house and I went to see what looked good in the kitchen. So after scavenging for food I decided that a bowl of cereal was what I was eating for breakfast. My mind kept turning over and over at the dream I just had. This dream that kept picking up where it left off was really starting to get to me. It wasn't bad enough that it wasn't really happening but yet it affected my entire day and I remembered every single detail.

I looked down at my cereal with distaste seeing as how it was now soggy and resembled dirty dish water. I stood up and dumped it out into the sink and trotted back upstairs. I opened the door to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror, the faint blush still staining my cheeks made me smile, not to mention the little pieces of hair that were sticking up and out in awkward angles from my head. So I quickly brushed out my hair and went back into my room, to tinker about until it was not too early to get ready.

The morning seemed to last a lifetime as my father left for work and I was alone in the house until school started. I decided to leave early and get a good parking spot at school, even though my senior parking space was near the front of the lot, I always had a slight nervous thought that someone might just take it for no good reason.

I sat around until other people decided to show up and then I sat at my usual table waiting for Kaitlyn, Thea, Ben and the rest of the gang. These were the people that I was usually seen with and they were the first to say hi to me when it was my first day here.

Thea and Ben were very into the drama program at school. Thea was a wispy sort of girl, her long light brown hair was always kept in a low ponytail and her lean body seemed to sway when she walked. She was quiet and incredibly smart and only on the dark smooth floor of the stage would you hear her voice rise above a level acceptable in a library.

Ben on the other hand was very outgoing, he was very tall and very loud at times. He was about an 8 on the attractive scale, but to me he would always be Ben. He always had an opinion about the latest political issue and was always open to others views. His sandy blonde hair and icy blue eyes were the main reason why girl fawned for him. We of course thought it was funny, because secretly Ben wasn't into the opposite sex.

The three of them were all I needed. There were enough interesting moments between the four of us to keep us occupied. I smiled thinking about the weekend Ben must have had and all of the drama he must have procured as well.

I had about an hour before any of them would show up and felt silly just sitting there staring at the drab cement floor. So I decided to doodle in my notebook to pass the time, I only got to my first row of diamonds until I started to daydream again...


	4. Truly The End of The World

**_I burst out of the bathroom, almost in a sprint down the hallway, just trying to get anywhere but here. When I finally realized that running away from my problems was useless I slowed down to my normal pace._**

**_'_****Did you lose your voice?' ****_What was I thinking? Lying to Grahm saying that I lost my voice just so I could get out of talking to him? He was talking to me first, he made it easy for me! All I had to do was answer his questions and my natural outgoing personality would have taken over. But obviously I turn into an idiot whenever I am close to Grahm._**

**_I walked to my car with my face down and my headphones in. I just wanted to turn invisible so the horrifying blush on my face wouldn't be seen. I finally got to my car and then I was tapped on the shoulder. I looked up and saw Brian. He was always nice to me when I first got here and he was more like a brother than anything else, he was my best guy friend, well in this other world at least._**

**_"Hey analeigh!" His smile never failed to make me laugh, especially when his eyes crinkled._**

**_"Hey Brian, I haven't seen you all day where have you been?" For a moment I didnt really care but maybe talkign to Brian wouldnt make me feel like such a fugitive, trying to escape my latest blunder._**

**_"I had to take that test for Honors Physics that Mrs. Steins left for me. She can be a real bat sometimes." He rolled his eyes dramatically._**

**_"Yeah I know what you mean" I laughed, imagining wide rimmed glasses on a bat, flitting through the air._**

**_Then there was a pause. That kind of pause where someone doesn't know how to tell you the bed news or when you first meet someone and you start out with a great starter but somewhere in the middle your last remark ends with 'so yeah..' and then it just becomes uncomfortable. I was becoming uncomfortable until Brian finally spit it out._**

**_"Hey Analeigh... Umm well I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime this weekend?" He said it so fast, it was a miracle I understood what he was saying._**

**_Why?! What would I say to him? '_****Hey your like a brother to me, so no?' ****_Yeah obviously not. I looked to the side to try and rack my brain for a good reply, that got the point across of no, but at the same time didn't completely maim our friendship._**

**_"Umm... Brian I..." I stuttered a bit, the old habit coming back whenever I got nervous._**

**_Then I looked up and saw Grahm, looking at me from his dark grey sedan on the other side of the parking lot. His eyes seemed to pierce the back of Brian's head for a moment and then snapped in my direction. He turned with a hurt look on his face and then he got into his car and drove off in a blur. _**

**_"Damn! Brian, can we not discuss this right now?" I started to say without looking at him and finally tore my eyes from the retreating car in the distance back to Brian's hopefully painful expression._**

**_" But Analeigh, don't you like me?" I couldn't tell if he was trying to toy with me or if he was seriously asking, because the look on his face was curious and yet looked like he was hiding a smirk._**

**_I nervously bit my lip and looked down for a moment, kicking at a stray piece of gravel._**

**_"Brian look, I think of you as nothing more than a brother, I love you, but I'm not in love with you. Does that make sense?" I tugged at the strings on my sweatshirt as I watched his face turn down and his eyes no longer crinkled at the corners._**

**_Brian looked away and I could see that he was very upset. He just nodded his head and walked away to his car a few rows away. Which left me standing by my car alone, and with tears rolling down my face. I felt like I just slapped him and told him to leave, I hoped that he would forgive me. I opened the car door and flopped into my seat as a voice rang in the back of my head._**

**_'Analeigh? Analeigh...'_**


End file.
